The Tipping Point is a book by Malcolm Gladwell about trends. It’s a thorough examination of specific trends which seem to appear out of nowhere and ride a wave of success.
Basically, the book is 200 pages of examples, questions and not one god damn solution. I kept hoping he would say “and the reason for this is…” or “so if you want to start a trend just…” but it never came. It made me want to write a book that was titled “Isn’t That Weird?!” Here’s a sample:
Chapter 1 – The Moon.
There’s a big rock in the sky that orbits us. Isn’t that weird? Sometimes you can see part of it. Sometimes, all of it. Isn’t that weird?
Chapter 2 – Love.
People fall in love. Isn’t that weird?
The book got me thinking about the concept of trends. As a person who randomly forgets other people exist, I often claim to start trends I had nothing to do with.
For the longest time I would get angry hearing all these “poser” X-Men fans talk about how excited they were about the movie coming out. How could they be original fans?! I was the one who had a single episode of the cartoon on a video tape my grandmother had recorded for me by accident!! A few weeks later, when I found out there was a little comic book before the cartoon, I conceded that I was the poser.
My desire to start a trend began when I was very young. Whether it was a phrase like “right back at you” or a joke like “how do you get the New Kids on The Block to cry? Make them sleep in separate beds,” I always tried to take credit for starting it. Part of me believed I was the first person who found World War II both horrifying and fascinating, but the other part was just so desperate to be the first at something.
One day, when I was in seventh grade, I decided to start a trend no matter what. This was my first year in Junior High and I needed to make a good impression to stick out in the crowd.
I started the day by trying to make up phrases. When the teacher asked me if I could pass my homework to the front of the class I said “I’ll shake it if you take it.” When he asked what that meant I quickly replied, “I’m floating on an ocean liner.”
After getting shoved for telling a kid his hat made him look “wet” I decided to try and start a trend in how people sat. I pictured an entire classroom of people sitting in a unique style and knowing that I had been the brave trailblazer who made it all possible. Perhaps I would win some sort of award that could be inscribed “Patrick – A Man Who Took The World Sitting Down”
Unfortunately, whoever started sitting on their chair backwards was the only real guru when it came to sit styles. I tried doing an extreme leg cross – which involved crossing my legs and then crossing then again so my foot came out on the other side of my calf. This maneuver was helped by my seventh grade anatomy (or lack there of), but wasn’t helped by my expression of excruciating pain on my face.
I tried laying my chest on the chair and hanging my hands down to the floor trying, hoping to make an ironic comment towards our teacher’s instructions to keep “all four legs on the floor.” However, too much blood rushed to my head and I would have passed out if the teacher hadn’t told me to “go to the bathroom” if I had any problems.
By the end of the day, I hadn’t started a trend (unless you call “getting odd looks from people” a trend). I was disappointed that particular day hadn’t produced a trend, but I was confident that one day I would do or say something that would catch fire.
That is why I am officially introducing my newest phrase “I love you like I love noodles.”
In 10 years, when kids open Christmas presents and scream “Fungo-Bots!!! YES!! YES! Thank you, Mom!! I love you like I love noodles!!” we’ll all know where it started.
Use it. Spread it. Put it in a song. Just don’t forget where it came from.
I wanted to be like the families that offered their snacks in colorful, individual serving, snack packs. And they were right here in front of me! It wasn’t a secret. All we had to do to become one of those families was to pull the products off the shelves and stack them on the conveyer belts.
He follows her home, knocks her out, rolls her up into a rug and chops her into four pieces as if she were a sushi roll. A light bulb goes on in his head and he starts serving raw human meat to customers. All of a sudden he’s the rave of the sushi world and he’s got to continually find new bodies to supply his meat stock. It’s basically a trendy version of Little Shop of Horrors.
