Oh my god…I think my hair is thinning.
Or, at least, it’s getting thicker on the sides.
I should get a hair cut; although, I’m not sure how you find a good barber.
I can’t trust the internet for that.
I’m not even sure if “barber” is the right term.

If I got a shorter hair cut, I’d look richer.
Not as rich as if I were to wear French Cuffed shirts.
But then I’d have to buy cuff links. Not even sure where you buy things like that.
Would Ikea have them?
Oh well, it would give my parents something to buy me for Christmas.

I should really think of something big to ask for this year.
Maybe a scooter.
Are scooters safer than motorcycles?
They go slower at least.
Not sure where I’d even go.

I’d ride a scooter if I was in Italy.
I’m going to learn Italian this year.
Should get a book, maybe. I bet they have podcasts.
I’d learn enough to say I’m learning.
I don’t think I’ll actually go to Italy anytime soon.

Who has the money to travel?
I can’t even buy sheets.
Is Egyptian cotton made in Egypt?
Is that a good thing?
What constitutes a “high” thread count?

I should start a website about things like that.
I’d also talk about the nutritional benefits of black vs. green olives.
Black olives feel healthier at least.
How early is too early to eat olives?
10:00? 9:00?

Should I get on the local or is there an express train behind it?
One of them changes after twelve.
What time is it now?
What did that announcement say?
I should buy a scooter.

Wonder if my netflix came.
I could really go for a good war documentary.
What war should I get into next?
Wonder if they have “how to” DVDs.
I don’t know how to cook anything.

I’m sick of fusion.
I’m not even sure what Spanish or Jamaican food is by itself.
Would Chinese Italian work?
Never get appetizers.
Only get appetizers.

I should have got on the local.
Is my hair too long to be short or too short to be long.
I don’t think it’s masculine to think about hair.
What foods increase testosterone.
I think peanuts do, but they’re expensive.

French Cuffs are expensive too.
They’re too French anyway.
How long does it take to make your own wine?
Why couldn’t I put it in beer bottles?
Maybe I should just get into cigars.

That would be different.
People only think you’ve changed if you’ve lost weight or changed your hair.
Pretty sure I’ve changed, but my hair says otherwise, I guess.
At least I’m not bald.
I wish I was bald.